what to say when someone says they are thinking about you

Just thinking of their patronizing words makes your blood eddy.

Yous want to put them in their place. You want them to feel what y'all're feeling.

And who wouldn't? No i likes existence talked down to. They have it coming.

More than anything, though, you want to handle this in a way that you won't take reason to regret.

You want to remember your response with a smile and with peace of mind.

So, how practice you deal with someone who talks down to you?

Read on to larn 15 of the all-time responses.

You'll soon run into why.

Talking Downwardly To Someone: What It Really Means

When y'all hear the words "patronizing" and "cavalier," probably at least ane person comes to mind. With some folks, you wonder if they're even witting of it.

With some, you know they are. But why practice they talk downwardly to y'all? What'due south in it for them?

• They go to sound gracious while taking you down a peg.
• They go to play "the rational one" while treating y'all like a hysterical child.
• They get to audio calm and mature in response to your justifiable anger.
• They get to experience superior in some way while making you lot feel (and look) inferior.

Using condescending language is a favorite tool of those who want to appear more intelligent, more sophisticated, or wiser than the one they dislike or disagree with.

Answer to a condescending jerk with anger, and they'll often apply information technology equally proof of their assumed superiority. They'll double downwards on the condescension while still trying to appear gracious and diplomatic.

Information technology tin be satisfying to shock them with a few choice words. But the responses given here volition take a stronger and more satisfying effect.

Examples of Talking Down to Someone

Think dorsum to some of the condescending or patronizing words directed at you and remember how you felt when you lot heard them. To help you lot recollect those moments, here are a few maddening examples of talking down to someone:

• "Actually, Hon, why don't yous simmer down a scrap while I exercise the talking?"
• "And so, you lot practice know how to speak coherently. Bravo! With a chip of education…."
• Speaking to someone else as though you're not there: "She'll need to come back in for a follow-up appointment. Make sure she takes her meds."
• "Well, there's no reasoning with you when you're like this…"
• "I'm so glad I can talk nearly this without y'all overreacting or maxim something light-headed."

At present, make your own list of examples from your own experience. You'll demand it.

15 Responses When Someone Talks Down to You lot

Now, it'south fourth dimension to wait at 15 responses — both internal and outward — each one based on the situation and the type of person you're dealing with. Some will no doubt sound familiar.

1. Don't accept information technology personally (even when it's meant to be personal).

If someone is talking down to y'all to make you feel small or to get a laugh, it says nil about you lot — but enough nearly them (and zero skillful).

If someone is talking down to y'all out of addiction just not with meanspiritedness, it still doesn't say anything about you. It ways they're thoughtless and possibly oblivious to the way they sound.

Depending on whether or not the condescension is meant to be personal, y'all can either gently right them, have note of their behavior (and witnesses), or simply ignore them.

ii. Expect it and ignore it.

Y'all know this is just something they do — perchance because that's the way they're used to talking to others. If they're rude, you're within your rights to simply walk away and let them exist their own audition.

If you know they don't mean to insult you or make you feel small, it'due south easier to but brush it off as something they practice out of habit. If it doesn't hurt anyone, you might choose this response to avoid causing more trouble than their comments are worth.

3. Be upfront and call them out.

In that location'due south no damage in calmly and straight saying, "Don't talk down to me." In effect, you're letting them know you lot've noticed their cavalier approach, and you're non letting them get away with it. It stops them in their tracks and puts them on the spot for a modify.

If they try to laugh information technology off as a joke that you lot're not getting, maintain the absurd composure. They might try to explain themselves, but if they decline to acknowledge their patronizing tone or language, you don't owe them an ear.

4. Invoke their empathy.

Maybe you've heard someone suggest a response similar 1 of the following:

• "When yous say ____, I feel ____," or
• "When you lot talk to me that way, I feel that _______," or
• "When you say that, I hear _____."

Of grade, this arroyo but works when the other person cares about how yous feel or interpret their words or commitment.

If they're convinced they've done nothing wrong and you're overreacting,  they're more likely to dismiss what you say as weakness or silliness.

In short, don't attempt to invoke what isn't there.

5. Acknowledge where they're right and add together something to it.

2 can play at this tangent game. If someone talks downward to you simply says something true, yous can seize upon that and draw from what you lot know to plough the talk in some other direction. Add something interesting you've learned.

If the intent of their statement was sharp, this would wearisome it in a jiffy. Practice it right, and any witnesses to the insult will be more interested in what you add to it.

6. Alibi yourself.

If someone is a condescending wiggle, you take every right to excuse yourself and put altitude between y'all.

Use whatever excuse comes to heed, or simply interrupt them with "Excuse me," in a calm, cool voice and leave them to their own company.

You've got better places to be and better uses for your headspace.

7. Walk abroad and discover someone who talks to you lot with respect.

If you don't want to dignify their annotate with a verbal response, sometimes the best response is to walk away, whether they're notwithstanding talking or not. Find someone who manages to accept a conversation without talking downwards to you.

Yous don't owe condescending people a gamble to finish their sentences or limited their whole thought.

And it might be better to leave before you make an impression you tin't take back.

8. Practice active listening.

With active listening, you focus on what the other person is saying, as well equally what they're not proverb out loud.

That way, you tin selection upward on the thoughts or feelings behind the words they say.

Equally an active listener, you might respond to a cavalier remark past request them how they are or whether everything is okay. People who don't usually say hurtful things are more likely to do and then when they're in hurting.

---

More than Related Articles:

The Ultimate List Of 143 Life Lessons You Must Larn

20 Signs Of Fake Friends And How To Deal With Them

31 Good Mottos to Live By for a Stellar Life

---

ix. Let go of any demand to control the result.

The less invested you are in the conversation's outcome, the less you lot have to lose.

If they're talking downward to you lot to humiliate you, but your self-esteem doesn't depend on what they or any witnesses think of you, they have no power over you.

Let go of your need to command the cease result of the conversation, and y'all can take some fun with it. Or you lot tin simply walk away.

ten. Prepare and defend your boundaries.

When someone talks down to you in a style that imposes familiarity, their goal is to manipulate you. Don't let them.

Case: "Your shoulder strap is wandering a chip, dear. Allow me to fix it."

This is the fourth dimension to set clear boundaries in a at-home merely singled-out voice and ensure the other person gets the bulletin: It'due south in their best interest to respect them.

If necessary, you tin tell them what you're prepared to do if they don't back off.

11. Document their words and listing witnesses.

If y'all're dealing with a toxic coworker with a penchant for talking downwards to people and belittling them in other means, proceed a log — at least for the most inappropriate or offensive beliefs. And keep rail of who else witnessed each incident.

That manner, if your employer asks you what you've noticed, you'll have a written tape of that beliefs. Or if the coworker does something you lot have to study, you lot can back upwardly your testimony with other witnessed beliefs to show consistency.

12. Recognize passive-aggression and answer accordingly.

Insecure people whose condescension is rooted in passive assailment are trying to transport the bulletin, "I'k ameliorate than you."  Don't buy information technology. Deep down, they don't believe it, either.

Example:

• "Oh, now, love… Have I said something to trigger you?"
• "Well, aren't we making an attempt to wait nice today."
• 'No one expects you to figure this out on your own, dearest."

And then again, some people talk down to you simply because, for some reason, they don't like y'all. The less invested you are in whether they like you, though, the easier it is to let it go.

Sometimes, the merely affair yous tin can do is (1) recognize the fearfulness or dislike behind these statements, and (2) walk away. Information technology's tempting to respond with cutting words, but that will merely provoke the other person to level up their attacks.

xiii. Disarm knee-wiggle condescension with kindness or sense of humor.

Some folks are just so used to talking down to people that information technology's become their default. And in that location's more than one way to handle it when their behavior gets to you.

Example:

• Babytalk — "What a sugariness widdle confront! I could just eat yous up!"
• Dismissive language — "It's fine. I don't await you to understand," or "There she goes again…"
• Condescending body language: Looking over the summit of one's spectacles, simulated-patient smile, eye-curl, shoulder shrug, exasperated sigh…

If your relationship with this person is important to you lot, you can gently betoken out to them how their behavior comes across to you lot and enquire them to be more than aware of information technology.

You tin can likewise defuse the situation with humour. Laughter helps people relax. For instance, yous might respond to the babytalk example by saying, "Well, my widdle face would prefer non to exist eaten past your widdle face. I'k kind of fractional to my face."

xiv. Give them feedback, including how information technology will benefit them to stop.

This is less well-nigh how their words brand y'all feel, and more about how not being a cavalier jerk volition benefit them.

Brand it well-nigh what they stand to gain if they stop talking downwards to you and other people. Considering perchance they don't care about annihilation else.

Since they don't have to exist intelligent to be condescending, the only feedback that will stay with them may be the kind that points to a prize.

15. Return to Sender.

Some people won't take a difficult look at how they talk downwards to you unless they're on the receiving end of it. Even if they are, though, there's no guarantee they'll make the connection between your response and their condescending beliefs.

Yous'll need to exist careful with this one. It works best with people who are perceptive and thoughtful plenty to recognize what yous're doing and take information technology to heart.

Otherwise, they'll encounter information technology equally an unjustified personal attack.

Now you know what to say when someone talks down to you.

At present that you've looked through xv of the best responses to condescending language, which ones stood out every bit nigh helpful?

Make a listing of your own encounters and ask yourself which of the above responses make sense in each situation. In some cases, responding with patience or with humor is best. In others, a more direct, diplomatic approach will become the all-time results.

Intent matters, and well-nigh of the time, information technology probably influences how you cull to respond.

No one wants to react harshly only to find out the person was absent-minded or distracted by grief. Whenever possible, put yourself in the other'due south shoes earlier speaking.

You lot would hope the same from them if yous spoke out of turn.

boeseneative.blogspot.com

Source: https://liveboldandbloom.com/09/self-confidence/someone-talks-down-responses

Share this post